You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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