my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
