Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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