White coat. Heels.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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