just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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