we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Boobs are out for the taking
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
