Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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