you traded sex for a burrito?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
