if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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