I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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