drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
