I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
cat food counts as protein by the way
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Randomize
