I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
