i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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