I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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