Whoa Z and x make the same sound
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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