Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
it hurts more in the daytime
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
there is puke in my bra ... again
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