I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
