just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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