i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Less talking, more tequila
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
