out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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