Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
