I wanna bring you to show and tell
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
