I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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