Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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