i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We just shotgunned beers for America
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
