K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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