I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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