My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
