So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize