i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
