Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
How external is "for external use only"?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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