I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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