Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
