Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

I wish facebook had a fuck off button.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon

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(520): View more from Arizona

Clearly I made an impression.

(404): View more from Georgia

Or at least your vagina did.

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(716): View more from New York

You can't have your penis and eat it, too.

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(319): View more from Iowa

We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.

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(813): View more from Florida

sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy

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(256): View more from Alabama

The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔

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