You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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