If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
