are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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