I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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