I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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