I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
