Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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