you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
