One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
