So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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