I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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