Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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