my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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