I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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