All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
