got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
