Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
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