so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
