I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
