Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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