Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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