My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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