I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
