I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
