You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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