their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
