Is it normal to miss your booty call?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
