Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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