I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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