now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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