just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Girls should come with a carfax report
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
