the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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