Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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