idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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